How to Identify Your Inner Saboteur

How to isolate the thoughts that hold you back and keep you feeling small so you can eventually silence them

When I first learned about Part X- or what the tools methodology calls our inner enemies- I realized mine was running 24/7. I was constantly ruminating about how terrible I was, how things would never work out, how poorly people think of me, etc. Part X is basically a label for the messaging we tell ourselves that only hurts us. It may seem like a protector, it may have even started out that way or imitate the messaging of those who should have been our real life protectors, but Part X’s blows are so cruel, so personal, it only serves to hurt us now. Whether it’s throwing societal messaging that doesn’t conform with our values in our faces or picking at deep insecurities, Part X keeps our lives small. And if you’re so used to Part X’s voice like I was, it can be hard to isolate and identify it. So here are some indicators you may be dealing with Part X:

- If your thoughts encourage self sabotage or are themselves self sabotaging

- If you are making assumptions about things that can’t be known i.e. predicting the future, predicting the outcome of a choice or reading someone else's mind

- If you're labeling yourself with judgmental or limiting labels (Note: applying a positive or neutral label to yourself isn't so much an INDICATOR of Part x’s presence, but it provides an opportunity for part x to jump in, because you inevitably won't fit the label or title you assigned yourself all the time)

- If your thoughts catastrophize about your future, present, or who you are as a person- especially if they zero in on the worst case scenario.

- If your thoughts are cruel and skillful at finding new ways to make you feel shitty- and if they pivot from one thought to another once the first thought no longer hurts you as much.

- If your painful emotions are disproportionately strong for situation you're reacting to

- If you feel trapped or doomed in general, like you’re not just sitting with your fear, but sitting with inevitability.

- If you discount the positives or nuance within a situation

- If you find yourself repeating negative messaging you absorbed growing up, or from society in general.

- If your instincts tell you you're dealing with part x.

- If you find yourself creating a one dimensional caricature of yourself or others

These are just some of the indicators you may be dealing with Part X. Everyone’s inner saboteur is unique and will have unique and uniquely unhelpful things to say. Trust your instincts. It’ll take awhile to start identifying and labeling Part X for what it is, but this is the first step in combating that part of yourself. (In a future article I’ll explain more about how to put part x in its place once you can identify it more readily.)